How to stay sane while your spouse is away for military-related reasons

This is for the military spouses out there. As a military spouse, more than likely, you will need to face a military-related absense whether it's because your husband is being shipped to Iraq or your boyfriend will be at boot camp. Here's some tips on how to stay sane.

-Don't be by yourself for long periods of time: From past experience, I have found when I am by myself sitting at home for an extended amount of time, this is when depression sets in. You become the prisoner of your own thoughts. I have found this is when I become bitter about my spouse being gone.

-Pray: There's a power in prayer. Whether in the military or a military spouse, I don't understand how anyone can be an athiest or agnostic. Ever hear the saying, "You won't find an athiest in a bunker." Ask people to pray for you and your spouse. Keep a prayer journal. It is quite comforting to know that you're not alone.

-Find your passion: Do you have any hobbies in which you haven't participated for a while? This is the PERFECT time to rediscover why you love them so much. One of mine is theatre. Use the internet to search for community theatres in your area. Do you like to paint, sing or dance? There you go! OR do you like to write? Create a blog to write about your experience!

-See a therapist: In situations like yours, it is may be a good idea to get an outside perspective on your situation and to develop coping skills on how to survive his deployment/military leave. It may be possible that you need medication such as Paxil to help balance you out mentally (I am on that by the way and just because you are on anti-depressants does NOT mean you are crazy).

-Check out military spouse support groups. You should be able to find some on the internet. Perhaps ask co-workers, your pastor/priest/rabbi, friends or family if they know other military spouses with whom you can connect. When I still lived in the Midwest, I asked my pastor if he knew other military spouses who faced the same challenge I did. Guess what? He knew one in our congregation and gave me her phone number. Now I had someone to sit with at church and meet up with for lunch to bitch about (I mean discuss) the trials and challenges of being a military spouse.

-Go on a trip: This may be the prefect time to go visit your college roommate or take a trip with your girlfriends to Vegas.

Here are some Donts
-Call your spouse or write your spouse about your frustrations. This is the LAST thing he/she needs to hear right now. Please do not express your anger with him that he's gone. If you do have a change to talk to him on the phone, don't take out your anger on him/her. This can negatively impact your marriage/relationship.

-Sit at home and cry and feel sorry about yourself. I once heard the saying, "20% of your life is what happens to you. 80% percent is how you handle it." I am not saying you won't have bad days, but you need to STAY BUSY.

-Cheat: I have heard of many spouses/significant others do this. I know it's hard your man/woman is not here right now. There is no excuse for cheating. ALso, it's not worth the risk getting pregnant with another man's baby while your man is away.

- Maxxing out credit cards: I remember when my husband left for six months to complete some officer training. I spent hundreds of dollars and didn't have a budget. I went broke. It's okay to go shopping to do something nice for yourself, but don't overdo it. MAKE A BUDGET. If needed, get a financial planner.

Okay, military spouses/boyfriends/girlfriends, here is your chance to offer your suggestions on how to deal during a military leave/deployment. Do you need to vent? Here you go. We can definitely relate and reach out! SPEAK UP!