Here's another one for you all. True story: I remember I managed a small retail business (it was hell in case you care and those who I managed were awful) and had to get change from the bank. Supposedly, I got too many $1 bills.
The next day, I arrived at work and found a note for me in our notebook up at the cash wrap counter. My assistant manager wrote me a note in all cap letters and exclaimation points to something like this: DON'T GET SO MANY ONES NEXT TIME. (Of course, there was more to this note, but can't remember all of it. Either way, it was unprofessional.)
She wrote me this long ass note all in caps. I was embarrased. I was the head manager at this business. I felt like this made me look like I was a poor leader for the company. Maybe I wasn't the best manager at the time, but my assistant manager handled this situation poorly.
What should she have done? If she still wanted to write a note, she should have written it not using all caps AND left it on my desk in my office. OR if it were only the two of us in the work area, she could have confronted me about it so other people did not have to see it. What do you think?
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Do's and Dont's to Phone/ Email/Written Note Etiquette at Work
I believe more and more workplaces should consider giving seminars/classes on how to communicate effecitvely via phone and/or email without offending the recipient. Who's with me on that?! (I believe many of you in the cyber world would answer in a simultaneous YES)
With a few years of real world work experience, I already have my share of horror stories. You know, when you receive an email and you think, "Am I supposed to be offended or they just giving me information? Am I in trouble? or are they just telling me to get something done because it is my job?" I just hate those situations. Maybe I am just sensitive- I don't know.
Here's an example-Tell me the difference between these two sentences that could be found in an email:
Please write a 500-word story on today's city council meeting.
and...
PLEASE WRITE A 500-WORD STORY ON TODAY'S CITY COUNCIL MEETING!
It is amazing how both sentences are worded exactly the same yet there are only two differences: puncuation marks and the second sentence is written in all caps.
How do both sentences communciate to you? The first sentence is just an imperative sentence while the second sentence seems more direct and urgent. I am sure you can think of numerous other interpretations of both sentences.
I recommend before sending an email, re-reading it BEFORE you click 'Send'. Your choices of what punctuation mark to use and what words you use to write it can be interpreted a totally different way from the recepient then how you meant for it to be interpreted while writing it.
Here is another email example. DO NOT be hypocritical! How? Here is another example. I know a female who worked in journalism. Supposedly when she wrote stories she had numerous grammatical errors and spelling mistakes and errors on names. Her supervisor called her to come into his office. He told her to improve on those mistakes. Of course, that was a ding to her ego.
She returns to her desk and sees she received an email from her supervisor. The subject line of the email read "Record with (first name) (last name)"
Supposedly, the email read something like, "This is a written record of what we talked about...."
Here's the problem. The supervisor had the first name correct, but put her maiden surname in the subject line instead of her married last name.
How hypocritical is that?! She no longer went by her maiden name. I am not saying that she did not deserve that confrontation, but her supervisor should have read over the email INCLUDING the subject line to ensure EVERYTHING was accurate. Here the a**hole confronted her about getting her facts correct including spelling names correctly AND ensuring she did not mix up the name while writing it. He was being a d**k by not ensuring he placed the correct last name in the subject line after deciding to include her first AND last name in there.
Let's discuss phone etiquette at work. I once heard the saying, "You may be right, but your voice is WRONG!" So true.
Tell me the difference between these two phone conversations:
(The phone rings. Immediately, the employee answers the phone.)
Employee: Hello?
Employer: Hello, Susan? This is Tim. How are you today?
Employee: I am fine.
Employer: I need you to give me that report by 1 p.m., please.
Employee: I am working on that right now.
Employer: Ok, thanks. Bye.
Employee: Bye.
PHONE CONVERSATION EXAMPLE #2:
(The phone rings. Immediately, the employee answers the phone)
Employee: Hello?
Employer: Get that report done by 1 p.m.
Employee: Who is this?
Employer: Tim
Employee: Ok
Employer: Bye
Tell me the difference between these two conversations. I understand there are those rare exceptions. HOWEVER, you can be direct via telephone asking that something get done yet communicate it in a nice manner. You don't have to ask the other person on the phone his/her life story, but be friendly. It makes the workday a lot easier. (I mean, come on, who REALLY wants to be at work? That is what I thought.)
Life is stressful the way it is. You may be right but ensure the way you write your email or communicate via phone is "right" as well. Make sense?
So, now it is your turn! Do you have any other examples you can provide? Please do write them! Actually, I have more I would like to write on this topic, but do not have the time right now. Be sure to watch for my "Part Two". ;)
With a few years of real world work experience, I already have my share of horror stories. You know, when you receive an email and you think, "Am I supposed to be offended or they just giving me information? Am I in trouble? or are they just telling me to get something done because it is my job?" I just hate those situations. Maybe I am just sensitive- I don't know.
Here's an example-Tell me the difference between these two sentences that could be found in an email:
Please write a 500-word story on today's city council meeting.
and...
PLEASE WRITE A 500-WORD STORY ON TODAY'S CITY COUNCIL MEETING!
It is amazing how both sentences are worded exactly the same yet there are only two differences: puncuation marks and the second sentence is written in all caps.
How do both sentences communciate to you? The first sentence is just an imperative sentence while the second sentence seems more direct and urgent. I am sure you can think of numerous other interpretations of both sentences.
I recommend before sending an email, re-reading it BEFORE you click 'Send'. Your choices of what punctuation mark to use and what words you use to write it can be interpreted a totally different way from the recepient then how you meant for it to be interpreted while writing it.
Here is another email example. DO NOT be hypocritical! How? Here is another example. I know a female who worked in journalism. Supposedly when she wrote stories she had numerous grammatical errors and spelling mistakes and errors on names. Her supervisor called her to come into his office. He told her to improve on those mistakes. Of course, that was a ding to her ego.
She returns to her desk and sees she received an email from her supervisor. The subject line of the email read "Record with (first name) (last name)"
Supposedly, the email read something like, "This is a written record of what we talked about...."
Here's the problem. The supervisor had the first name correct, but put her maiden surname in the subject line instead of her married last name.
How hypocritical is that?! She no longer went by her maiden name. I am not saying that she did not deserve that confrontation, but her supervisor should have read over the email INCLUDING the subject line to ensure EVERYTHING was accurate. Here the a**hole confronted her about getting her facts correct including spelling names correctly AND ensuring she did not mix up the name while writing it. He was being a d**k by not ensuring he placed the correct last name in the subject line after deciding to include her first AND last name in there.
Let's discuss phone etiquette at work. I once heard the saying, "You may be right, but your voice is WRONG!" So true.
Tell me the difference between these two phone conversations:
(The phone rings. Immediately, the employee answers the phone.)
Employee: Hello?
Employer: Hello, Susan? This is Tim. How are you today?
Employee: I am fine.
Employer: I need you to give me that report by 1 p.m., please.
Employee: I am working on that right now.
Employer: Ok, thanks. Bye.
Employee: Bye.
PHONE CONVERSATION EXAMPLE #2:
(The phone rings. Immediately, the employee answers the phone)
Employee: Hello?
Employer: Get that report done by 1 p.m.
Employee: Who is this?
Employer: Tim
Employee: Ok
Employer: Bye
Tell me the difference between these two conversations. I understand there are those rare exceptions. HOWEVER, you can be direct via telephone asking that something get done yet communicate it in a nice manner. You don't have to ask the other person on the phone his/her life story, but be friendly. It makes the workday a lot easier. (I mean, come on, who REALLY wants to be at work? That is what I thought.)
Life is stressful the way it is. You may be right but ensure the way you write your email or communicate via phone is "right" as well. Make sense?
So, now it is your turn! Do you have any other examples you can provide? Please do write them! Actually, I have more I would like to write on this topic, but do not have the time right now. Be sure to watch for my "Part Two". ;)
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Are greeting cards a lost art form?
Today is my two-year wedding anniversary and my husband is out of town on business
:(, so of course it's a bittersweet day for me. I am happy we made it this far and sad we can't celebrate it together. He told me we can celebrate AND he will get me something when he returns.
After returning home from work today, I was somewhat excited to see what was in our mailbox. We received one anniversary card from some loved ones. (I will not name names to in this blog to protect identities). I felt somewhat ticked off and disappointed when I saw other loved ones did not send us anything.
Ok, ok, I know I know. Perhaps we will get more later in the week. HOWEVER I remember my birthday was earlier this year and I received birthday cards from friends and loved ones, BUT other ones close and dear in my life (at least I think and hope that they feel the same way) did not send me a greeting card. WTF? What sucks is I sent them greeting cards for their anniversaries and birthdays AND/OR bought them gifts OR took them out to a restaurant.
I have to admit I have not been perfect either. I have forgotten birthdays and anniversaries. When I do remember, he/she might get a card one month after that special day. Growing up, I remember my mom would have EVERY relative's birthday AND wedding anniversary written down so she would remember to mail them a greeting card. I guess other people don't do that. Perhaps it's a regional thing. Maybe it's just a family thing...
Maybe, I just feel extra sensitive because my spouse can not be here today for our anniversary and I just feel others should go out of the way to make me feel just as special if he were to be here.
I guess this experience is teaching me to keep better track of birthdays and anniversaries. I understand every-day life is crazier and more stressful, but I think that should be one of the main reasons we DO send greeting cards. I truly believe it is a lost art form. If you think about it, families do not live close to each other anymore. It's now the norm for relatives to live on opposite ends of the country or even the globe. People do not take the time to form relationships anymore. This is not a Monday-Friday/8-5 world anymore. Now people are expected to take their work home with them thanks to technology, the new iPhone, Blackberries and more. Can you name at least two of your neighbors? Yeah, I did not think so. (Don't worry, I can't either)
I think sending a card demonstrates that you think about that person AND that person is special to you whether you live next door or in different time zones.
Not only should we remember birthdays and anniversaries but also thank-you notes. I will not write anymore on this topic. I think you can conclude what I think about thank-you notes ;)
:(, so of course it's a bittersweet day for me. I am happy we made it this far and sad we can't celebrate it together. He told me we can celebrate AND he will get me something when he returns.
After returning home from work today, I was somewhat excited to see what was in our mailbox. We received one anniversary card from some loved ones. (I will not name names to in this blog to protect identities). I felt somewhat ticked off and disappointed when I saw other loved ones did not send us anything.
Ok, ok, I know I know. Perhaps we will get more later in the week. HOWEVER I remember my birthday was earlier this year and I received birthday cards from friends and loved ones, BUT other ones close and dear in my life (at least I think and hope that they feel the same way) did not send me a greeting card. WTF? What sucks is I sent them greeting cards for their anniversaries and birthdays AND/OR bought them gifts OR took them out to a restaurant.
I have to admit I have not been perfect either. I have forgotten birthdays and anniversaries. When I do remember, he/she might get a card one month after that special day. Growing up, I remember my mom would have EVERY relative's birthday AND wedding anniversary written down so she would remember to mail them a greeting card. I guess other people don't do that. Perhaps it's a regional thing. Maybe it's just a family thing...
Maybe, I just feel extra sensitive because my spouse can not be here today for our anniversary and I just feel others should go out of the way to make me feel just as special if he were to be here.
I guess this experience is teaching me to keep better track of birthdays and anniversaries. I understand every-day life is crazier and more stressful, but I think that should be one of the main reasons we DO send greeting cards. I truly believe it is a lost art form. If you think about it, families do not live close to each other anymore. It's now the norm for relatives to live on opposite ends of the country or even the globe. People do not take the time to form relationships anymore. This is not a Monday-Friday/8-5 world anymore. Now people are expected to take their work home with them thanks to technology, the new iPhone, Blackberries and more. Can you name at least two of your neighbors? Yeah, I did not think so. (Don't worry, I can't either)
I think sending a card demonstrates that you think about that person AND that person is special to you whether you live next door or in different time zones.
Not only should we remember birthdays and anniversaries but also thank-you notes. I will not write anymore on this topic. I think you can conclude what I think about thank-you notes ;)
Saturday, July 18, 2009
More ways to look like a million bucks without spending lots of money
I decided to write this blog after a day of shopping this week. I was able to buy a top, jeans, pleater leggings and a pair of sunglasses for under $40! How you may ask?! Well, I will tell you!
Discount and thrift stores! I did not realize how you can find great stuff by just going to such stores. Here is proof!
The army officer's wife's shopping report!
I began my shopping excursion by visiting Plato's Closet. I did not realize how awesome the store was until I visited a location earlier this year. Plato's Closet has stores located throughout the country. (www.platoscloset.com) The store buys and sells gently used name brand teens'/young women's clothing, shoes and other accessories. The store is somewhat picky about what it takes. Typically, it only buys used clothing that is no older than 18 months. Also, it only accepts certain brands such as Aeropostale, Lucky Brand, and others.
Anyways, I was able to find two items that will be huge must-haves for fall. I found a plaid shirt-dress with three-quarter length sleeves and embellished vintage-style skinny jeans. The nice thing about the shirt-dress was I can either wear it tucked out with leggings or wear it tucked in without it looking like I have something hiding underneath my pants. Total cost: About $25!
Next stop was Marshall's. If you're not familiar with Marshall's, it is owned by the same company that owns TJ Maxx. Anywho, Marshall's sells name-brand clothing such as Ralph Lauren and Calvin Klein at almost 50% of the cost for which it would normally retail at department and other expensive stores.
I found pleather leggings for $4! I KNOW! I couldn't believe it myself either. Also I found XOXO brand sunglasses for $10. I must say I look awesome in the sunglasses. HA HA
What I also love about Marshalls is their shoe selections. For example, the store I visited had these amazing ankle boots for $39! At other stores you would find those boots for around $70.
So, yes, it CAN be done! You can look absolutely stunning and fashionable at half of the price.
So, do any of you have any other places where you can find awesome bargains on clothes and accessories?!
Discount and thrift stores! I did not realize how you can find great stuff by just going to such stores. Here is proof!
The army officer's wife's shopping report!
I began my shopping excursion by visiting Plato's Closet. I did not realize how awesome the store was until I visited a location earlier this year. Plato's Closet has stores located throughout the country. (www.platoscloset.com) The store buys and sells gently used name brand teens'/young women's clothing, shoes and other accessories. The store is somewhat picky about what it takes. Typically, it only buys used clothing that is no older than 18 months. Also, it only accepts certain brands such as Aeropostale, Lucky Brand, and others.
Anyways, I was able to find two items that will be huge must-haves for fall. I found a plaid shirt-dress with three-quarter length sleeves and embellished vintage-style skinny jeans. The nice thing about the shirt-dress was I can either wear it tucked out with leggings or wear it tucked in without it looking like I have something hiding underneath my pants. Total cost: About $25!
Next stop was Marshall's. If you're not familiar with Marshall's, it is owned by the same company that owns TJ Maxx. Anywho, Marshall's sells name-brand clothing such as Ralph Lauren and Calvin Klein at almost 50% of the cost for which it would normally retail at department and other expensive stores.
I found pleather leggings for $4! I KNOW! I couldn't believe it myself either. Also I found XOXO brand sunglasses for $10. I must say I look awesome in the sunglasses. HA HA
What I also love about Marshalls is their shoe selections. For example, the store I visited had these amazing ankle boots for $39! At other stores you would find those boots for around $70.
So, yes, it CAN be done! You can look absolutely stunning and fashionable at half of the price.
So, do any of you have any other places where you can find awesome bargains on clothes and accessories?!
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Look like a Million Bucks (without spending a lot of money on stuff that is actually worth a lot-confused? You'll understand once you read this.)
Alleluia! Thanks be to God we can dress like we are worth millions without taking out a mortgage. You can wear Marc Jacobs and have a Louis Vuitton bag for one-tenth of the cost. How? By renting! The web sites which are found below allows you to rent a dress or purse for an event or per week.
You are probably thinking, "Why rent?" Think about it. Let's say you need to find a dress for a semi-formal event. How often will you wear that outfit? I recall buying dresses for such events and never wearing them again. I spend lots of money on something I will only wear once and then it only takes up room in my closet.
Thanks to Real Simple magazine (August 2009), I found out this secret thanks to its article "Renting 101". Ah, thank you Jesus!
http://www.weartodaygonetomorrow.com : This web site is AMAZING! If you're an athiest, this web site proves there is such thing as GOD! You can wear a designer dress to that special event whether it be a wedding or night on the town.
http://www.bagborroworsteal.com : The Real Simple article included a cute quote from the movie Sex and the City from Louise played by Academy award winning actress Jennifer Hudson. "It's a rental. Like Netflix for purses."
For some reason I like to have cute purses when I travel. If you're like me, this is the web site for you. A designer purse NEVER goes out of style.
There you have it! Now you know how to look like a million bucks wearing designer clothes for a fraction of the cost. Everyone will see you and gasp with how incredible you look. People will admire with what you are carrying your money, cell phone and cash. Guess what? They don't need to know your dirty little secret. Let them wonder. ;)
(Thanks, Real Simple magazine for this wonderful money-saving article on how to look fab! It's a GREAT magazine!)
realsimple.com AOL keyword: real simple
You are probably thinking, "Why rent?" Think about it. Let's say you need to find a dress for a semi-formal event. How often will you wear that outfit? I recall buying dresses for such events and never wearing them again. I spend lots of money on something I will only wear once and then it only takes up room in my closet.
Thanks to Real Simple magazine (August 2009), I found out this secret thanks to its article "Renting 101". Ah, thank you Jesus!
http://www.weartodaygonetomorrow.com : This web site is AMAZING! If you're an athiest, this web site proves there is such thing as GOD! You can wear a designer dress to that special event whether it be a wedding or night on the town.
http://www.bagborroworsteal.com : The Real Simple article included a cute quote from the movie Sex and the City from Louise played by Academy award winning actress Jennifer Hudson. "It's a rental. Like Netflix for purses."
For some reason I like to have cute purses when I travel. If you're like me, this is the web site for you. A designer purse NEVER goes out of style.
There you have it! Now you know how to look like a million bucks wearing designer clothes for a fraction of the cost. Everyone will see you and gasp with how incredible you look. People will admire with what you are carrying your money, cell phone and cash. Guess what? They don't need to know your dirty little secret. Let them wonder. ;)
(Thanks, Real Simple magazine for this wonderful money-saving article on how to look fab! It's a GREAT magazine!)
realsimple.com AOL keyword: real simple
Friday, July 10, 2009
My Fall Fashion Preview
My family, friends, acquaintances, co-workers and admirers from afar(okay, I am lying about the last part) can tell you one thing about me: I AM OBSESSED WITH FASHION. I buy magazines to see what I need to buy to update my wardrobe. I bury and/or donate items when they are no longer 'the trend' according to fashion experts. I go to fashion websites such as Vogue and Elle magazine to see what I must try to find the next time I hit the mall.
Here is what I have noticed after searching through magazines and web sites what we women must get to look absolutely amazing and fashionable for Fall 2009.
1) Plaid button up shirts-I think these look super adorable with a pair of skinny jeans and flats. I saw Lauren Conrad (don't like her but admire her fashion choices) wear this shirt with a pair of pleather leggings with heels in an issue of US Weekly recently-She looked AWESOME.
2) Sequins, glitter, embellishments-Sequins tops and dresses are HUGE for fall. Jeans with embellishments such as studs are the way to go.
3) Leather/pleather pants and jackets-Now if are going to wear leather, choose one or the other meaning either wear a leather jacket with a non-leather bottom or wear leather bottoms with a non-leather top. If you go head-to-toe leather, you will look more old-man Harley Davidson than fashionista.
4) One-shoulder dresses-These are still huge. This will be a perfect look to seek for a semi-formal/black tie occasion.
5) Faux fur or real fur: My favorite are the faux-fur vests. I think that looks super cute with a long sleeve shirt, jeans or skirt with knee high boots.
For more great fall fashion finds, check out these sites.
Elle magazine www.elle.com
Lucky magazine www.luckymag.com
Vogue magazine www.vogue.com
Here is what I have noticed after searching through magazines and web sites what we women must get to look absolutely amazing and fashionable for Fall 2009.
1) Plaid button up shirts-I think these look super adorable with a pair of skinny jeans and flats. I saw Lauren Conrad (don't like her but admire her fashion choices) wear this shirt with a pair of pleather leggings with heels in an issue of US Weekly recently-She looked AWESOME.
2) Sequins, glitter, embellishments-Sequins tops and dresses are HUGE for fall. Jeans with embellishments such as studs are the way to go.
3) Leather/pleather pants and jackets-Now if are going to wear leather, choose one or the other meaning either wear a leather jacket with a non-leather bottom or wear leather bottoms with a non-leather top. If you go head-to-toe leather, you will look more old-man Harley Davidson than fashionista.
4) One-shoulder dresses-These are still huge. This will be a perfect look to seek for a semi-formal/black tie occasion.
5) Faux fur or real fur: My favorite are the faux-fur vests. I think that looks super cute with a long sleeve shirt, jeans or skirt with knee high boots.
For more great fall fashion finds, check out these sites.
Elle magazine www.elle.com
Lucky magazine www.luckymag.com
Vogue magazine www.vogue.com
Thursday, July 9, 2009
How to stay sane while your spouse is away for military-related reasons
This is for the military spouses out there. As a military spouse, more than likely, you will need to face a military-related absense whether it's because your husband is being shipped to Iraq or your boyfriend will be at boot camp. Here's some tips on how to stay sane.
-Don't be by yourself for long periods of time: From past experience, I have found when I am by myself sitting at home for an extended amount of time, this is when depression sets in. You become the prisoner of your own thoughts. I have found this is when I become bitter about my spouse being gone.
-Pray: There's a power in prayer. Whether in the military or a military spouse, I don't understand how anyone can be an athiest or agnostic. Ever hear the saying, "You won't find an athiest in a bunker." Ask people to pray for you and your spouse. Keep a prayer journal. It is quite comforting to know that you're not alone.
-Find your passion: Do you have any hobbies in which you haven't participated for a while? This is the PERFECT time to rediscover why you love them so much. One of mine is theatre. Use the internet to search for community theatres in your area. Do you like to paint, sing or dance? There you go! OR do you like to write? Create a blog to write about your experience!
-See a therapist: In situations like yours, it is may be a good idea to get an outside perspective on your situation and to develop coping skills on how to survive his deployment/military leave. It may be possible that you need medication such as Paxil to help balance you out mentally (I am on that by the way and just because you are on anti-depressants does NOT mean you are crazy).
-Check out military spouse support groups. You should be able to find some on the internet. Perhaps ask co-workers, your pastor/priest/rabbi, friends or family if they know other military spouses with whom you can connect. When I still lived in the Midwest, I asked my pastor if he knew other military spouses who faced the same challenge I did. Guess what? He knew one in our congregation and gave me her phone number. Now I had someone to sit with at church and meet up with for lunch to bitch about (I mean discuss) the trials and challenges of being a military spouse.
-Go on a trip: This may be the prefect time to go visit your college roommate or take a trip with your girlfriends to Vegas.
Here are some Donts
-Call your spouse or write your spouse about your frustrations. This is the LAST thing he/she needs to hear right now. Please do not express your anger with him that he's gone. If you do have a change to talk to him on the phone, don't take out your anger on him/her. This can negatively impact your marriage/relationship.
-Sit at home and cry and feel sorry about yourself. I once heard the saying, "20% of your life is what happens to you. 80% percent is how you handle it." I am not saying you won't have bad days, but you need to STAY BUSY.
-Cheat: I have heard of many spouses/significant others do this. I know it's hard your man/woman is not here right now. There is no excuse for cheating. ALso, it's not worth the risk getting pregnant with another man's baby while your man is away.
- Maxxing out credit cards: I remember when my husband left for six months to complete some officer training. I spent hundreds of dollars and didn't have a budget. I went broke. It's okay to go shopping to do something nice for yourself, but don't overdo it. MAKE A BUDGET. If needed, get a financial planner.
Okay, military spouses/boyfriends/girlfriends, here is your chance to offer your suggestions on how to deal during a military leave/deployment. Do you need to vent? Here you go. We can definitely relate and reach out! SPEAK UP!
-Don't be by yourself for long periods of time: From past experience, I have found when I am by myself sitting at home for an extended amount of time, this is when depression sets in. You become the prisoner of your own thoughts. I have found this is when I become bitter about my spouse being gone.
-Pray: There's a power in prayer. Whether in the military or a military spouse, I don't understand how anyone can be an athiest or agnostic. Ever hear the saying, "You won't find an athiest in a bunker." Ask people to pray for you and your spouse. Keep a prayer journal. It is quite comforting to know that you're not alone.
-Find your passion: Do you have any hobbies in which you haven't participated for a while? This is the PERFECT time to rediscover why you love them so much. One of mine is theatre. Use the internet to search for community theatres in your area. Do you like to paint, sing or dance? There you go! OR do you like to write? Create a blog to write about your experience!
-See a therapist: In situations like yours, it is may be a good idea to get an outside perspective on your situation and to develop coping skills on how to survive his deployment/military leave. It may be possible that you need medication such as Paxil to help balance you out mentally (I am on that by the way and just because you are on anti-depressants does NOT mean you are crazy).
-Check out military spouse support groups. You should be able to find some on the internet. Perhaps ask co-workers, your pastor/priest/rabbi, friends or family if they know other military spouses with whom you can connect. When I still lived in the Midwest, I asked my pastor if he knew other military spouses who faced the same challenge I did. Guess what? He knew one in our congregation and gave me her phone number. Now I had someone to sit with at church and meet up with for lunch to bitch about (I mean discuss) the trials and challenges of being a military spouse.
-Go on a trip: This may be the prefect time to go visit your college roommate or take a trip with your girlfriends to Vegas.
Here are some Donts
-Call your spouse or write your spouse about your frustrations. This is the LAST thing he/she needs to hear right now. Please do not express your anger with him that he's gone. If you do have a change to talk to him on the phone, don't take out your anger on him/her. This can negatively impact your marriage/relationship.
-Sit at home and cry and feel sorry about yourself. I once heard the saying, "20% of your life is what happens to you. 80% percent is how you handle it." I am not saying you won't have bad days, but you need to STAY BUSY.
-Cheat: I have heard of many spouses/significant others do this. I know it's hard your man/woman is not here right now. There is no excuse for cheating. ALso, it's not worth the risk getting pregnant with another man's baby while your man is away.
- Maxxing out credit cards: I remember when my husband left for six months to complete some officer training. I spent hundreds of dollars and didn't have a budget. I went broke. It's okay to go shopping to do something nice for yourself, but don't overdo it. MAKE A BUDGET. If needed, get a financial planner.
Okay, military spouses/boyfriends/girlfriends, here is your chance to offer your suggestions on how to deal during a military leave/deployment. Do you need to vent? Here you go. We can definitely relate and reach out! SPEAK UP!
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